White coat. Heels.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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