5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever