Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
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She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.