we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
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Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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