she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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