You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
