The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
