Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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