We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
