We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
