But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't put those talents on a resume
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
