i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
