The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
