I hate all girls vehemently.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
