I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
