Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
