im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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