so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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