I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
