he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
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