it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
