if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
