Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Randomize