im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
only you would photoshop your dick
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
