Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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