YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
