Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize