Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Porn is love you can see.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
