How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
