there was a trapeze. enough said
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
