Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
