Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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