YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
