I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
