Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
