suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
