We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
