My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
