Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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