so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Green mimosas i think yes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
