So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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