Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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