I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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