sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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