If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
