Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
