So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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