yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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