You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
