Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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