Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
