Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize