They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
