the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
