his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
