yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize