tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
