Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
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I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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