After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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